Friday, May 9, 2014

Change... No Es Bueno!

I hate change. Just the thought of it makes me uneasy. It scares me.

From the outside you would never know. I adapt extremely well to just about everything thrown my way. But on the inside... I scream through the entire process. So a few weeks ago when Justin told me he wanted the t:slim, I instantly felt nauseous.

No way... the Ping has been good to us the last four years. And the remote - I love my remote.

If I'm being honest, I've spent the last few weeks trying to talk him into waiting. I've read things that made me feel this change is not a good idea. I've chatted and messaged people that have had a "less then positive" experience. But every time I tried to tell him the flaws, I could see the painful disappointment in his face and I realized that I just need to let change happen. Because Justin chooses to let it.

I have seen an immeasurable amount of growth in Justin over the last few months. Crazy growth. Growth I never thought I would be ready for since D entered our lives. He is taking control. He has done it at his own pace... In his own time. And that's okay because he's doing it and he's doing it right.

He knows how to handle his care. He knows that mistakes happen (like giving yourself insulin for the serving size(3 pks) of M&M's when your teacher only gave you one pack... oops!) and he knows how to fix it.

Even though I fear... I am so very proud of him.

The paper work has been filled out for the t:slim. The insurance has been verified, the Endo has signed off and authorization has been submitted. All we wait for now is the approval. Justin knows that he will be more responsible for bolusing since we will no longer have a remote... I explained this fact SEVERAL times. He's agreed and this change is happening. I will just need to adapt. Ultimately, this is Justin's load to bear and he should be able to manage it with whatever device he chooses. I will just be here, for back up, when he needs me.

Maybe sometimes, change es bueno.






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