Thursday, September 30, 2010

D Takes a Back Seat...

Get ready! Because one week from today "it" happens. 

What is "it", you ask?

Why it's...


Mark your calendars for Thursday, October 7th. Then head on over to THIS post by Ninjabetic for all the details you need about "No D Day".

Time is running out...

Have you signed up for this weeks Sugar Bolus yet???

If not, you better hurry!!!!!

This is your last chance!!!!!

The deadline is tonight!!!!! TONIGHT!!!!!

Over to the Princess and the Pump to enter.

Umm, why are you still here?? Click the link silly :)

Saturday, September 25, 2010

A knot in my stomach...

"Mom can you get my checker" followed by a clunk.
The thought of it is still turning my stomach. The piercing sound in his voice told me that something was wrong. As I ran into the kitchen, I found my 9 year old son sitting on the floor against the cabinet. He was sweaty and holding his head in his hands.
Automatically, I grabbed a juice, stuck the straw in and handed it to him.

As  he drank I opened the test strips... EMPTY! "Damn it!!" I say as I run to the closet for more. When I finally tested him, he was 45.

I don't understand...

I have changed his basal. Changed his IC factors. I have even changed his ISF. Why all of a sudden are we having all these lows. Why is it past the point of function before he feels them?

I hate the gut wrenching feeling of "that voice".


Friday, September 24, 2010

No parent left behind...

I never really understood why the nation adopted the "No Child Left Behind" policy... until now!

These are real notes written by parents. Spellings have been left intact...

1. My son is under a doctor's care and should not take PE today. Please execute him.

2. Please exkuce lisa for being absent she was sick and i had her shot.

3. Dear school: please ecsc's john being absent on jan. 28, 29, 30, 31,32 and also 33.

4. Please excuse gloria from jim today. She is administrating.

5. Please excuse roland from p.e. for a few days. Yesterday he fell out of a tree and misplaced his hip.

6. John has been absent because he had two teeth taken out of his face.

7. Carlos was absent yesterday because he was playing football. He was hurt in the growing part.

8. Megan could not come to school today because she has been bothered by very close veins.

9. Chris will not be in school cus he has an acre in his side.

10. Please excuse ray Friday from school. He has very loose vowels.

11. Please excuse Lesli from being absent yesterday. She had diahre dyrea direathe the shits.

12. Please excuse tommy for being absent yesterday. He had diarrhea, and his boots leak.

13. Irving was absent yesterday because he missed his bust.

14. Please excuse jimmy for being. It was his father's fault.

15. I kept Billie home because she had to go Christmas shopping because i don't know what size she wear.

16. Please excuse jennifer for missing school yesterday. We forgot to get the sunday paper off the porch, and when we found it monday. We thought it was sunday.

17. Sally won't be in school a week from friday. We have to attend her funeral.

18. My daughter was absent yesterday because she was tired. She spent a weekend with the marines.

19. Please excuse Jason for being absent yesterday. He had a cold and could not breed well.

20. Please excuse mary for being absent yesterday. She was in bed with gramps.

21. Gloria was absent yesterday as she was having a gangover.

22. Please excuse brenda. She has been sick and under the doctor.

23. Maryann was absent december 11-16, because she had a fever, sorethroat, headache and upset stomach. Her sister was also sick, fever an sore throat , her brother had a low grade fever and ached all over. I wasn't the best either, sore throat and fever. There must be something going around, her father even got hot last night.

Now we know why parents are screaming for better education for our kids... just sayin!

Thursday, September 23, 2010

"We were almost to that point"...

Those were the words from C (school nurse) today as she updated me on Justin's "episode". I went in to sub for a half day today and one of the secretaries said C wanted to talk to me before I go to class.

WEIRD! C never seeks me out. I always pop in to visit her.

Side bar - Let me just say that D'Com is ROCKIN IT this week... seriously! I practically have it duck taped on, but thank the good Lord that I put it on him this week. We have had some dippin numbers over here.

Keep in mind that Justin was sent to school this morning with a temp basal decrease on top of a change in both his I:C ratio and his ISF factor. So what does he decide to do???


It hit him pretty quick. He was bolused at 10:15 and was back in C's office by 10:45. D'Com alarmed. By the time he got to the office he was "combative". He refused to check his bg. Didn't want juice. He was 33 and D'Com was pointing down. C made a comment that it was almost to the point of Glucagon. I dread that day.

I know not eating all his carbs will catch up with him... but what I don't get is how quick it has been? He did eat 42 of the 67 he was bolused for. D usually doesn't come after him that quickly. He didn't even make it back to class.

Seems as if D has been playing with a new deck of card the last few days... I think this deck has a few extra Jokers!

Wait, it gets better... ready for this?? I just put some nice, cold, fresh from the fridge insulin in his pump because tonight was site change night. I am so looking forward to tonight... GOOD TIMES!!

Wednesday, September 22, 2010

Wazz up Wednesday...


Ever wonder whats going on over at our house?



WHY NOT?!?! Er... don't answer that! 

Awe, you were just kidding right?? Well in that case here is everything you might not have wanted to know... it's called WAZZ UP WEDNESDAY.

Yesterday I had the dreaded 504 meeting for Justin. I was lead to believe that the lady coming in from the district was a pain in the ass that wasn't going to budge. I am happy to report that I was a little off base with my assumption. She did know her business, and though the plan will probably get a little "tweaking" next year... I do feel confident that we made some progress :) I will share the final documents when I get the copies of them myself.

LOWS LOWS AND MORE DAMN LOWS!!! I think it might have something to do with the fact that Jupiter is so close to the earth (hey, worth a shot). Seriously though... SOMETHING is surely out of whack. Justin complained of a headache Saturday before dinner and it has all gone downhill since then. We are seeing numbers in the 30's, 40's and a lot in the 60's(post meal) throughout the day. Guess it was a good week to use D'Com.

Speaking of D'Com... he is sticking around... but I had to hold him hostage with some medical tape. The alcohol pad plan did not cut it.

Tuesday night was an exciting night for the "Gleek" in me :) I am thrilled that Sue Sylvester is back in my living room slappin a smile on my face.

Random fact #1... as of today, there are 93 days until Christmas!!! EEEK!

Random fact #2... My hubby went shooting with "the boys" for is best friends b-day. Turns out that one of the boys went to high school with ME. And guess what else... He has D. No really, he was wearing a pump :)
His family races... I am currently trying to figure out  how to hit him up for a donation to the Gala.

Random thought... Where in the hell did my maiden name on Facebook go? They just took it off as if I don't own it anymore.

I am currently on Diet Vanilla Coke #3... which means that I am ready for business!!! MAYBE... not a whole lot can keep me awake these days.

I think my "friend" is coming to visit... unfortunately, I do not like this friend!

Random fact #3... Speaking of Diet Vanilla Coke and friends. You know you go to Sonic WAY TO MUCH when the girl taking your order is comfortable enough to ask you for a Tampon ;) Lucky for her, I was able to assist!

Think that's it for this edition of WAZZ UP WEDNESDAY.


Monday, September 20, 2010

It's a SUGARY SWEET givaway!!!

Head on over to Our Diabetic Life to check out some of Meri's Favorite things. THEN... leave a comment BY THURSDAY NIGHT and you just might be lucky enough to try them out for yourself.


Saturday, September 18, 2010

Invisable Illness Awareness Week: beyond the illness...

It seems as if I raised a little concern with my last post. Sorry about that! No worries friends, I am not about to drive my car off the cliff or anything. Maybe I can clear a few things up throughout this post.

I was going to skip this topic due to being in my "funk" and all, but I decided that I may have something to add to Invisible Illness Awareness Week even if there are already some GREAT posts out there already.
Speaking of... to read a few of the amazing posts already written, you can visit Hallie, Alexis or Heidi.

 So back to the post...

It's hard to believe that with a name as popular as "diabetes", Type 1 would be so unknown. I mean... "diabetes" is all over the place. It stars in commercials, talk shows have entire episodes blocked out for it and it even gets a cameo mention on the Disney channel. Not to mention all the grandmas, aunts, uncles and sisters-boyfriends-cousins-moms who have it... right?

So why so invisible? Maybe it's like growing up in the shadow of your older sister(I don't know how exactly, but work with me here). They both have the same looks, the same last name, but their personalities are different. No one notices the younger "bratier" sister because the older sister is more popular, she knows more people, EVERYONE knows her and they all talk about her... not that she is well liked or anything. The younger sister is quiet, silent even, but make no mistake... she is BRUTAL if ignored. She can throw a tantrum like you've never seen... sneaking up on you and attacking everything you can imagine. But she is slick... she knows when to stomp her foot so no one sees it. She knows how to sucker punch those closest to her without batting an eye. She can keep a smile on her face and turn your whole world upside down. Heck, she does it 40 times a day and still stays "invisible" to many.

But what about beyond the illness? What about the invisible things that go on because of the disease? The things that even those who might see the illness don't know.

The above mentioned posts talked about the dark circles from sleepless nights, battered finger tips and endless carb counts. But what about the financial toll these "illnesses" take. They are ongoing. There is no remission or break from them. Simple grocery shopping and back to school supplies costs more because of them. Hallie talks about Celiac... do you think special gluten free items go on sale?? Sure, some everyday brands are Gluten free, but you don't always have the option of picking up that BOGO sale or the cheaper store brand.

Lower carb counts cost more too. We use to use Publix bread($.99 - $1.49). Publix bakery is not to far from us and their bread ALWAYS stayed fresh the longest. Then, dx day came and we realized that when your only allowed 45 carbs at a meal(on MDI)... 8 carbs makes a HUGE difference. After dx we started using white wheat($2.19 - $2.99) (Justin does not like "brown bread"). * 8 carbs less allowed for a cookie OR that 9 carb bag of Cheetos in his lunch. Sounds silly to the outside world??

It's not JUST bread... sugar free/reduced sugar... that stuff doesn't go on sale. That's the stuff with the little Astrix sayin **does not include. Maybe I'm crazy. Maybe I am on my own in my thoughts here. But, lets face it... THIS.ECONOMY.SUCKS!

People are loosing their jobs everyday. With those jobs goes the health insurance. A lapse in health insurance sometimes means not being able to get coverage because, OF COURSE, to the insurance companies these illnesses are NOT invisible and they don't want any part the them. People are loosing their houses. Their life savings just trying to keep themselves(or their child) alive.

**Disclaimer: BREATH! My hubby is not loosing his job and we are not loosing our health insurance or our house... just so you know!. But this IS HAPPENING everyday. And it's sad, unfortunate and just plain wrong.

So whats my issue you ask? Well the "funds ARE funky" over at our house(thats what we call it). We sat down the other day and added up the medical expenses that we pay and IT.WAS.NOT.PRETTY!! I didn't realize it until it was added up and it was pointing and laughing at me. And we DO have pretty darn good health insurance... It's CRAZINESS!

Would you believe that all that babbling has lead you to my life's intersection?

Thing is... my goal was to get Justin to middle school before I went back to work. These days I am just not sure if that is do-able anymore with the cost of D in the mix. Then again, without D... going back to work wouldn't be AS MUCH of an issue. IT'S ALL ABOUT THE D... ALWAYS!

My intersections look like this... continue on with the straight path while slowly running out if gas.

To the right is a dream job that allows me to be home in the afternoons... waiting is key to turning right. Downfall is that there may never be an opening to that dream job for me to merge into.

And left... always the hardest turn. Is a possible full time job if I choose to accept it. This job may mean the dreaded daycare. My kids have never stepped foot in a daycare. I KNOW, people do it everyday. But D throws a caution sign ahead. I don't even know if I can find an opening or one that will take Justin at this point.
So I ask... how much is it worth? How much money is worth putting my child's medical care in the hands of a stranger?

My heart knows all the money in the world is not enough.

But my reality says I need to settle on a price.

As I told a good friend :)
I feel like D is on both sides of this decision. It's creating the need to go back, yet it also makes it hard to do.

In true Lora fashion... as soon as I have all the details, I will weigh my options. For now, I worry and I pray for the strength and guidance to do what is right. Whatever "right" may be.

Thank you all for your advice... Love you all!

Thursday, September 16, 2010

How much is it worth...

I find myself standing at one of life's intersections.


I'm lost.


I look back with sorrow and guilt in my heart. I want to go back, but turning around is never really an option when your standing at this intersection.

I look both ways...

Do I go left?

Do I go right?

What if I stay straight and hit more construction? What if I am past all the caution signs and straight is the only place I will have the option of turning on my cruise control? There is no way to know what the traffic is like ahead. This is one terrifying intersection indeed. Terrifying because I am not the only passenger anymore and I realize the cost of my decision could be worth far more than the acquisition in the end.

I keep telling myself... to listen. Look at the signs.
But what do you do when the signs are steering you in different directions?

Blogger Basal count down... the final countdown to the September edition of BlOgGeR bAsAl!

The deadline to submit your blog for participation is T.O.M.O.R.R.O.W (Friday, September 17th)! Send an email to Heidi- with a link to your blog!

To see what blogger basal is all about, check out the DETAILS & LAST MONTHS BASAL :)

 Hope to see you there!!!

Monday, September 13, 2010

Dear D'Com...

Your REALLY starting to PISS.ME.OFF! S.E.R.I.O.U.S.L.Y!

Your self adhesive sensor is not living up to your week long potential.
TWO DAYS D'Com... TWO DAYS is all you hung in there for this last time.

I need to count on you and you are letting me down.

I.V. prep can't even convince you to work the whole week.

(This is not a picture of Justin)

D Mama's and T1's alike... if you wear a CGM, what do you use to keep in on for the whole week? We do not have issues with pump sites... only the CGM site.

Saturday, September 11, 2010


I am going to steal... uh... borrow Jen's opening paragraph for this post and just add a little "Lora" to it here and there. I hope that is okay with Mama Pancreas.

This tag goes back a little ways. It was started by Kerri over at the fantastic Six Until Me. She describes it at as a blog meme just for those with wonky pancreases (and for the people who love us).
While Jen may still be split between centuries... I am all up in the 21st centuries "bizness"(said like Angie from Baby Mama). YES, I do remember records(and 8 tracks for that matter), but that's another post that I will most likely not publish any time soon :).
Anyway, so after Kerry started it; Penny over at A Sweet Grace tagged the lovely Reyna over at Beta Buddies (who is funny as shit by the way). Reyna then proceeded to tag Jen who tagged MEEE. PHEW! Did I get everyone??? I know it's getting hard to keep up, but if you keep reading to the may find out YOU have been tagged too. So, without further ado.. as Jen would say...

What type of diabetes do you have: Justin has Type 1 / Juvenile / Insulin Dependant Diabetes. You know, "the bad kind". I had to throw that one in there since it has been called that before.

When were you diagnosed: Justin was diagnosed on October 21st, 2008. He was 7 years old. Next month will be our 2 year "d-aversary".

What's your current blood sugar: Embarrassment sets in and my head hangs in shame... 275. Good thing Jen made me check. In my defense, today IS site change day and this does happen too often on site day 3. It is on my list of things to talk to the Endo about when we go next month.

What kind of meter do you use: I am going to steel(stop that Lora!)... borrow some of Jen's answer here too. We also use 2. The One Touch Ping and the One Touch Mini. I do not trust my sweet little Justin to tote his remote back and fourth, so I have a Mini at school and I keep my beloved remote ALL.TO.MYSELF!
Now, I do have to admit... Jen is right about the One Touch strips being suckity in the "sucking up blood" department. We get A LOT of error 5's also.


How many times a day do you test your blood sugar: 8 - 12 times a day. 8 is a dream day. 12(more on occasion) is more like it. If you add in those "error 5's" we use a whole lot of strips. One touch should do one of those buys like they do with socks and cereal; where you get 20% more free as a bonus. HINT.HINT!

What's a "high" number for you: Over 150, but I don't stress until 250 :)

What's do you consider "low": During the day... less than 70. At night... we like to keep it over 100.

What's your favorite low blood sugar reaction treater: At school we use Reli On glucose tabs unless he is under 40 or just plain out of it... then we will use Juice first. At night I use juice because its easier to get it in him. I carry glucose tabs and random candy(Star Burst, Laffy Taffy etc...) in my purse. Most of the time I eat the candy and he eats the glucose tabs  Brows .

Describe your dream endo: Our Endo is good. A little stand offish, but ALWAYS spends ample time with us. I have never been rushed out of there and that is a huge plus for me. I do not have a whole lot to compare him to, so I am not sure what else I need in an endo.

Who's on your support team: My husband Anthony of course, but I feel so "at home" here in blogland with all my friends. I feel like I have many sisters. I love you all and consider you FAMILY.

Do you think there will be a cure in your lifetime: Is it bad for me to admit that my heart tells me no?
Does that make me a bad D Mama? I TRULY HOPE that there is and will keep doing what I can to support the possibility. I just don't know.

What is a "cure" to you: RELIEF! A deep breath and a sigh of relief. Let's face it, we don't know what will happen tomorrow, but with a cure I would have one less fear in my life. THEN... I would sleep!

The most annoying thing people say to you about your diabetes is: "OH! My dog has Diabetes". I have had four people(one was a doctor) say this to me. Yeah! A little different than your dog!

What is the most common misconception about Type 1 diabetes: That WE caused it. WE ate too much
junk and drank too much soda. Some people are baffled by the fact that Justin is so skinny.

If you could say one thing to your pancreas, what would it be: DAMN YOU!!!! Damn you for being a quitter when Justin needs you.

Are you tired of listening to me yet??? Well lucky for you, I am done! I need to go get on that site change so we can kick some D ass. (I corrected by the way... I didn't just leave him like that~ sheesh!)
But before I head out... a tag....  Ummm , lets see!!!?!!!


 The Thinker 
sitting and thinking!!!

 Lightbulb Idea


She spells HER name ALL WRONG, but I love her anyways :) GIT "ER" DONE GIRL!

Wednesday, September 8, 2010

to twit or not to twit...

I have been dodging the Twitter game for a long time. I signed up once, way over a year ago, but I deleted the aaccount because I just didn't get it and I honestly didn't have the desire to learn. Besides, I didn't need anything else to occupy my time.

WELL, a few weeks ago I took the plunge again and became a "twit". I was still lost at first until Reyna splained a few things. NOW, I am ALMOST hooked. I think I like it because I can post freely without the worry of family or high school friends seeing everything... it's rather nice to be a little less filtered.

I have been pleasantly surprised to make some new connections in the DOC, but it was more than comforting to see the familiar faces of  some of my favorite D Mama's(you guys rock btw!).

One of the connections I have made is with Bob Hawkinson (not that he has any clue who I am) who writes Living out Loud with Diabetes and also The Joy of Diabetes.

I found Living out Loud with Diabetes through Twitter and it caught my attention because it had a few funny post such as: Top 10 worst ways to check your bloodsugar,  You might be a diabetic if and Things I have learned from the movies (this last one has nothing to do with D, but it is good for a chuckle).

Then as I was trying to google the website directly, I came across The Joy of Diabetes and decided to peak at a few posts. I learned that you can use a Ziploc baggie to waterproof your CGM just in case it falls in the toilet :) YES, it CAN happen!
Then... I came across a post that made me smile. Most of the time us D-Mama's are not noticed so I thought sharing this would be nice...

The Mothers of JDRF..on a mission :)  by Bob Hawkinson

Small world, I spoke with one of my clients who wanted us to sponsor tshirts for a walk a thon they were having on their property for JDRF. I was given a phone number to call and spoke with the lady in charge who was the mother of little Kaylan who has been diabetic since age 2.
I had to laugh as I always love talking to the Moms at JDRF because they absolutely get things done. High energy and on a mission to find a cure, a solution, or an improvement in their childs life.
You know who they are...they are the one on every committee, getting 5x more stuff done than everyone else.
God Bless the Moms.....

I thought this was sweet and it felt good to know that not ALL of out craziness goes unseen :)
Thank you Bob!

At a glance, Living out Loud with Diabetes seems like a positive, informational and sometimes comical place to "hang" so go check out.

AND... if your a "twit" too, come find me on Twitter @rockindmom. I'd LUV to "tweet" ya!!!! hehehe!

Tuesday, September 7, 2010

Give it away... Give it away...Give it away now!!!!

I Use to love the Red Hot Chili Peppers :), but that has nothing to do with this post...
is reminding you to sign up for this weeks SUGAR BOLUS.

Have you done it already???
Well you better HURRY!!!! Running  
What are you waiting for... CHRISTMAS???
(That will be here before you know it~ yikes!)

Head on over to CANDY HEARTS BLOG to show some sweet luv to Mrs. Candy Hearts herself and maybe you will be the lucky winner of this weeks "Sugar Bolus".

Good Luck!!!

Sunday, September 5, 2010

From the mouth of yours truly...

Its THAT time again!!!
Time for another addition of those silly things that I MAY or MAY NOT have said...

 -There is something wrong with you; which is EXACTLY why were such good friends.
-Ready to rise OR shine... pick ONE because I can't do both.

-It's okay that I'm not skinny... chubby people are harder to kidnap.

-So what if I'm the fruit loop in the bowl of cherries... you'd be so bored without me.

-CLEARLY I am cleverly disguised as a responsible adult.

-Apparently common sense isn't so common.

-Just wait... my middle finger is thinking about its reply.

-You are seriously going to make me choke on my rabbit turd ice. 
What's come out of YOUR mouth lately Question Mark 



It is NOT here with me... that is FOR.SURE!
 Today the phone rings...(its the hubbs. We will put his part in blue)

"I have a dumb question"! (as he is driving down the road... remember this part)
"How dumb"?!? (Not that it matters)
"Did you renew my tag"? (silence FILLS the phone line)
(remember the "remember this" part??... yeah, hes driving down the road with an expired tag)
"*^#*!^%$#!#$%^&* ... I will do it RIGHT NOW"
"just don't drive in front of any officers... we can't afford a ticket" JUST SAYIN!

OH WHERE, OH WHERE HAS MY MEMORY GONE>>> OH WHERE, OH WHERE CAN IT BEEEE? (sang to the tune of... Oh Where Oh Where has My Little Dog Gone)

No SERIOUSLY! I have lost it this week.

Proof is in the pudding baby!!

On Tuesday I needed to run out and find some hard to come by school supplies for AGP. Wally-World and Target were OUT OUT OUT!!!
So Justin and I hop in the car and the hunt is on... we get to store #1 "can I have this Hershey bar?"
"Yes, go ahead... but that is IT!". Get to the car... no meter.

WHAT!! NO METER. UGH! I hope your numbers are spot on!!! I bolused for the candy and crossed my fingers.

Friday night... "Let's go to Buffalo Wild Wings". "Sounds good"!
Hop in the car... sit down... order drinks.


I forgot the freaking meter AGAIN!!!!!

One more time... cross fingers... bolus for food... HOPE bg is good.

Did Justin survive??? Well of course he did silly!!! But that doesn't make me feel like any less of a suckity mom.

Thank goodness for my Pancreatic Sistas... because I know I am not alone. Right Tracy??

Thursday, September 2, 2010

Care plan meeting...

Yesterday we had the official "Care Plan Meeting"(not to be confused with the dreaded 504 meeting).

In attendance were both coaches, the music teacher, art teacher, AGP math teacher, AGP science teacher, school nurse, guidance counselor and myself. Justin's regular classroom teachers did not attend because I had already sat down with them before the first day of school.

Overall, the meeting was short and sweet(30 minutes). It seemed to be well received and the nurse and I were even asked a few questions. I introduced them all to D'COM (Dexcom Seven Plus CGM) and gave them a few information sheets to look over and ponder.

These info sheets are the reason for this post.

Thank goodness for Heidi over at

Heidi had shared some of her school documents with us and it gave me a GREAT place to start.

I changed things up to meet Justin's needs of course, but I think the teachers appreciated them.

The first page was a letter to substitute teachers. At least where I live, the teacher is SUPPOSE to leave the care plan in the sub folder. Now, I can say as a sub... this has never been left for me (yes, there has been times it should have). So that is where this handy little paper comes in. The school nurse said it was just enough info and she liked that it had a photo on it.
The second one is a quick sheet of some things teachers need to know or be on the lookout for. Mine is WAY shorter than Heidi's because Justin sees a nurse and Jack tests in the class. Her form reminds me of what our care plan is... so maybe I just utilized it in a different way than she does.

The third page I am going to share has nothing to do with the care plan meeting. I made it to give to the bus driver in case of an emergency.

I am sure I will make adjustment to these in order to perfect them, but they were a great start and I am thankful I had Heidi's help.

If you are in search of 504 info... you can find help from:
Wendy at Candy Hearts by clicking HERE
Reyna at Beta Buddies by clicking HERE
The Crazy Pancreas at The Superhero and the Princess by clicking HERE
Hallie at The Princess and the Pump by clicking HERE
or form Alexis at Justice's Misbehaving Pancreas by clicking HERE

I will be visiting these pages as I prepare for the above mentioned 504 meeting in a few weeks... you can read more about that HERE!

Happy Reading :)

When the worst happens...

by Michelle Alswager

Dealing with loss.
“I’ve always been a risk taker, just like my mom,” writes Jesse Alswager in a school writing project.

March 3, 2000 was by far the worst day of my life. My world was about to turn upside down as my adorable little 3-year-old son, Jesse, was diagnosed with type 1 diabetes. I couldn’t ignore the symptoms and had taken him to the emergency room. I will never forget the look on the nurse’s face as she read the glucose meter. “It’s diabetes, isn’t it?” I asked with dread. She simply nodded.

Like everything in my life, I took this on with passion. Over the next 10 years I would advocate, I would teach, I would learn, and I would find ways to help others cope with this disease.

Just shy of 10 years of his diagnosis, Jesse died unexpectedly from his type 1 diabetes. March 3, 2000 was now a distant second “worst day of my life” as I watched my 13-year-old slip away. The outcry from the diabetes community was loud. “How could this happen?” “Weren’t they a good family?” “Can this happen to my child?” Answers were demanded, and I could give none other than he was an amazing kid full of life who didn’t let diabetes stop him. We are still left asking, "Why?"

Loss in our own community – the tight-knit diabetes community – is shocking. You look to one another and fear it can happen to your kids. Just weeks after my son died, a wonderful 14-year-old boy named Trent died from low blood sugar in his sleep. I had never met his parents, but found myself drawn to them – to help them. The unthinkable had happened to both of our families. I was also fortunate enough – yes, I said fortunate enough – to know two other women who had lost their children to type 1 diabetes 4 years ago (Austin, age 22) and 2 years ago (Seth, age 23). I was shocked there were so many deaths in our community – were we so busy telling people diabetes doesn’t have to be a death sentence that we actually stopped thinking it could really happen?

What was most distressing to me was that friends of mine who had children with diabetes were not telling their children about Jesse’s death, afraid they would fear for their own mortality. I can tell you from experience that it is better to tell them, because they most likely know what happened and will suffer through fear of death until you take the time to explain that it was a tragedy and that it doesn't happen all the time.

There is nothing I would change about the way Jesse lived his life, the technology we used, and the freedom we gave him to be the boy he was. I choose to honor him by continuing my passion in the diabetes world and to help anyone I can. I think it is important to keep perspective that diabetes is a delicate balance and when we hear, “insulin is not a cure,” it's not just a statement. It's a bitter reality.

I leave you as I started this column, with Jesse’s words: “I’ve always been a risk taker, just like my mom.” Continue to let your children with diabetes thrive and live and take risks. Jesse would want them to do so.

I copied this article from DLife. There are so many true statements in it that I had to re-post and share here. In my opinion, Michelle is truly amazing. I don't know if I could have her strength if faced with her reality.
To top it off... I read this after reading Reyna's post this morning called "The painful truth of my nights'. In this post she talks about her fears in the night time hours (not something she does often). She also talks about "dead in bed syndrom' which is a fear MANY of us have. Click on both links to take a look. Harsh reality, but a good read that reminds us we are not alone. 
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