Wednesday, May 11, 2011

Diabetes Blog Week... Day three

Today's topic Diabetes bloopers - Whether you or your loved one are newly diagnosed or have been dealing with diabetes for a while, you probably realize that things can (and will) go wrong. But sometimes the things that go wrong aren’t stressful - instead sometimes they are downright funny! Go ahead and share your Diabetes Blooper - your “I can’t believe I did that" moment - your big “D-oh” - and let’s all have a good laugh together!!


I admit - I have had my share of fucknut moments over the last 2 1/2 years.   Really! To the point where Meri has even tried to help me find my marbles.

The bus stop seems to be my stage for comedy most of the time. Just the other day it felt like deja vu... no bra(I did have a hoodie on this time though), dog draped across my chest, heading to the bus stop when the pump alarm goes off. Low battery... ACK!!

There I was... running back to the house... poor puppies(all three of them) jarring with each running bounce. You would think I'd learn.

You will understand the deja vu part of it after you read the following.

I hope you don't mind a repost...



Mom You Suck 2010

Yep, that's right... I said I suck. I can feel a little "suckity" right now. This is worse than last year when I lost my "Mom of the year award".




Wanna know why???
 If not, click out now... cuz its my blog and I'm tellin!


If so, grab a beverage, sit back, and I will tell you all about it.



It started out at 2am when I didn't hear the alarm to check Justin. You can imagine my panic when I heard the words "what time do you need to get up" from Anthony. He asks this every morning because some days I can sneak in an extra 15.

PANIC is not my idea of a pleasant way to wake up. I scurried off to Justin's room who JUST.SO.HAPPENED to have good numbers over night for the first time in weeks.



After a sigh of relief, I carried on with the morning in the usual way. Justin is in his typical dawdling mood where any form of direction has to be repeated ten times before he even acknowledges that there are actual words spilling from my mouth.



Because of the already frantic way in which I awoke... I was particularly on edge and growing substantially more agitated with every repeat command that certain parties remained oblivious to. I wont name names (starts with a "J" and ends with "ustin") because that would not be polite.





So as I go through the motions...

"get up! get up! get up!"

"check ur blood! check ur blood! check ur blood!"

 
"choose ur breakfast! choose ur breakfast! check ur blood! choose ur breakfast!"


"STOP chasing the dog... CHOOSE your breakfast... CHECK your blood!" ahhhhh! This goes on, but you get the point.


As usual we are behind. We need to leave the house by 7:15am to catch the bus. I have to work so Justin not "feelin the flo" is only setting me up to look like the crazy lady in the office with my mis-matched clothes and improperly paired shoes because I will be lucky to get a good teeth brushin in this morning.




So after my second verse of "get dressed, wheres your shoes, get your socks, brush your hair, brush your teeth... solo. (side note... at 7:14 the nameless offspring still did not have his socks and shoes on OR his mop brushed). Things in mama-ville start getting all tornado tyrant. Arms flailing, exorcist voice streaming the "word of Lora" through the halls of mi casa. Was not pretty! I decided at that moment (as I have in past tangents) that THIS.WAS.IT!! NO.MORE!! YOU WILL DO THIS AND YOU WILL DO THAT!!! OR ELSE!!! The look on Justin's face let me know that he would take my words seriously for the next five minutes, but to be prepared because tomorrow is a new day.


Now, we are dressed... ready to go... until I realize that I have no bra(white t-shirt) and no shoes laying in there usual spot because we have to keep them from the puppy. (shish-kabob!!... yeah, I didn't think you'd believed that's what I actually said) I scramble around with more flailing fashion... find shoes (no need to be crazy AND barefoot)... grab the dog to carry across my slingshot-less chest and we sprint out the door.




As we round the street corner, the bus pulls up. Were moving along as I apologize to Justin for my tantrum(not those words) and let him know that he need to start getting up and get motivated in the mornings. You know the speech... your getting older bla bla bla.


We are half way to destination big yellow bus when Justin pulls D'Com(CGM) out of his pocket and says "I'm low with an arrow down".



WHAT!!!!! You've gotta be F*ing kidding me.




This is where my suckity motherly thinking skills come into question... Rather than being calm and logical and taking him home when I read 47 on his CGM; I opted to go into "fix it and shove him on the bus mode". That's right... here is how it went.



You remember... "I'm low with an arrow down", right? Well, we will start from there. Picture this... crazy mom with white T, no bra, puppy draped across chest, now literally running in a circular motion (kind of like that game where you stuck your forehead on the bat and run in circles until your dizzy) in search of the one back pack pocket(out of 20... stupid pockets) that has the glucose tabs. Bus is waiting, 7 other moms, a dad and a German Shepard all staring as I frantically unzip and re zip above mention possible hiders of the tabs. One nice mom runs up and offers some help... I toss her poor scared puppy thus exposing my not so perky anymore cuz I'm getting older girls and continue to search.



FINALLY, I find tabs and start walking at a fast and frantic pace towards the bus (as if this was a good plan) while handing Justin 3 tabs saying "eat, eat em, eat them now" and sticking the tube back into what I hope was the right pocket(not that that matters). I look at the bus driver who's mouth has now hit the floor and say" he's running a little low, please keep an eye on him and I will call the nurse".

That's right... I put my child, who was low, on the bus.


After it was over... it hit me. What did I just do? I should have brought him home. Why didn't I just bring him home?



Of course I called the nurse. I was pretty embarrassed to admit how much I suck, but I had to let her know.



30 minutes later I received a phone call. "Just wanted to let you know that Leighanna(love that girl) walked Justin straight here. He did not go to the classroom. His BG is now 119 per meter and the CGM has one arrow up slow.


Phew, it was okay this time... I can breath and Justin survives my excellent parenting skills one more time.





14 comments:

Nicole said...

your poor puppies!! :) lol I remember reading your first post!!

Reyna said...

The "Puppies" comment... "all three of them" made me laugh out loud. I love this story Lora. Thanks for sharing so openly about your "girls" while caring for your boy.

xoxo

Joanne said...

Puppies! That was awesome!

Heidi / D-Tales said...

I started smiling with "I have had my share of fucknut moments" and I kept smiling through the whole post. :) I remember this story, and I have to tell you I have had my fair share of moments of where I've wondered what the heck I just did!

Meri said...

That was so worth reading again. I've sporting my usual perma grin while reading your blog!

Leighanna is a sweetheart! What a kick-butt sister!

Denise aka 'Mom of Bean' said...

Thanks for letting me laugh at your expense! ;) Hope those puppies are OK!!!

Sarah said...

How did I miss this one...so funny. I mean, umm...well yeah it's funny!

Kris said...

Sounds just like our crazy mornings around here! lol

AjsMommy82 said...

I missed this 1!!! Thanks for letting us laugh at...uh with you! :)
Hope the puppies recovered well!

Laura @ Houston We Have A Problem! said...

That was a good one ---- just as laugh worthy the 2nd time. I take my kids to school with no bra most days too. It's come back to bite my ass more than once.

Funny Lady!

Michelle said...

Too funny! Oh I can SO relate to crazy mornings like that! Hope your "puppies" didn't have to take too bad of a beating running back to the house :)

Jules said...

Omg i freaking Needed that laugh. Thankuxx

Alexis Nicole said...

I wish I could get away with no bra!!

Anyway I remember the first time I read this lol still funny! Not the low part just the you part.

Love ya twin!

Carol said...

I can totally relate to the bus-riding part. It's just drilled in that they HAVE to make the bus- I get it. You poor puppies and poor 'girls'! :)

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