Thursday, July 15, 2010

Sigh...

I just got yelled at... well sorta. Because I chose to keep something to myself. Mostly to myself that is... I did tell my grandma. That always gets me in trouble... because she always tells someone :). It wasn't a secret or anything, I just chose to be in denial for a few days.
My denial wouldn't have lasted long... it couldn't. I just needed not to put it out there.

Soo, now that my denial bubble has been popped... here it is...
We had our well visits the other day. Justin was all excited to tell her about his new pump and his new CGM. Oddly, that makes me happy because he is usually so unsure... for some reason this pump has given him a little bit of confidence. He wants to show it off.

I had made the appointment a month or so ahead of time, but I was excited because it ended up getting me out of about 4 hours of yard work. This made me happy :)

During the appointment she asks all the standard questions... how is school, what kind of grades did you get etc... at one point or another Justin mentions that his "chest hurts sometimes" (???)

OH DEAR GOD!! (that was all that ran through my mind).

Justin is not one to mention things... he for sure never mentioned it to me. Dr. D asked him several questions... some repeating only in different words. Justin said that he has to "hold his chest like this (insert demonstration) when he runs a lot". Its been going on for "a long time" and "no, I have never told my mom".

WHY? Why has he not told me? Does he think(know) that I am on the verge of a mental breakdown?

Dr. D looks at me... she knows the look on my face. She apologized to me. She said that she tried to get him to give her the right answers, but he just didn't. Because of that, his diabetes, and the fact that I have a history of heart problems... she couldn't ignore it. So now we need to see a cardiologist. GREAT! One more doctor. One more knot in my stomach until all the testing is done... one more "crack in my vase". I just pray to God that its not going to be one more thing for him to deal with.

When does it end?

14 comments:

htimm=) said...

Oh Lora! I'm so sorry. You and Justin will be in my prayers! I hope it all turns out well!!

Pam said...

I'm so sorry. When I feel like I'm hanging on by my fingernails my mantra is, "one thing at a time." Keep going, keep functioning (whatever that may be for the day). You can do this. GOOD LUCK AND LOTS OF HUGS!

Amanda said...

Lora! I am sorry! That is so stressful. I do think it is really cute that he is all trying not to worry you. What a little darling.

What heart problems do you have? Is everything OK?

I'll be praying for you guys.

Lora said...

Thank you ladies. I appreciate the prayers.

Amanda, I was born with a hole in my heart. It ended up eventually closing on its own and now I just have more of a murmur. Its just one of those things that you disclose when filling out paperwork and they plaster it all over his notes :)

Tracy said...

Hugs, Lora! Just be thankful that he DID say something, before something bad happened. Who knows, it is probably NOTHING, BUT if it is something, it is probably better to find whatever "it" is early on!

Praying for you guys, my friend.

Shannon said...

I will be praying for you! I hope that it will be nothing and that it is just a false alarm.

Laura said...

Breathe in - Breathe out!
Breathe in - Breathe out!
Repeat over and over!

I am so glad that he mentioned it to the doctor!! I know it is a lot to take in right now but it may be nothing. It's better to find out - right? He is so sweet - - - I just love him! He didn't want to worry you!! What a sweet, sweet boy!!

I am praying for you and Justin!

BREATHE!

phonelady said...

Yes Lora so sorry dear and will keep you and Justin and your family in my prayers and yes remember it might just be growing pains , in other words could be somthing , might be nothing . just have to wait and see and remember God does not give us anything we cannot handle . Keep us in the loop and let us know how it goes .

Penny said...

Hugs and love to you Lora. You will get through it and at least it's now out there and can be dealt with. Hang in there, tomorrow is a new day and you have lots of support. Sending you positive vibes and good thoughts and the knowledge that you can do it.

Meri said...

What. The. Heck. ;(

When I was in elementary school, I also had chest pain when I ran. Every time. But tests showed nothing. Praying that gives you some hope. Could it be kinda an asthma issue too?

You guys are officially on my prayer list. Sending all my love to you. ((HUGS)) to my awesome/amazing/strong friend.

Amy said...

((HUGS)) Lora!! Hang in there....asthma was actually my first thought too!

Wendy said...

EEK!!!! LORA!!!!

I will be holding all of you in my prayers and anxiously awaiting an update. Much love....stay strong, Mama!!!!

Tracy1918 said...

Oh no! I will keep you in my prayers. I remember having some issues with that when I was younger. They sent me to the cardiologist, too. It was nothing....and I pray the same for Justin!!!

Hallie said...

Holy Shit. How did I not see this post until now?!? Oh Lora... I'm praying, girl. Do you know when you're going or anything? Hang in there... we won't let you fall. Or fall apart. Or anything like that. Maybe it's just growing pains???

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