Wednesday, August 4, 2010

An open letter to our Pediatrician...

Dear Dr. D,

You are truly an amazing person, an amazing doctor, an amazing soul. I doubt words could ever express how much your support and encouragement mean to those you care for.
I know I didn't realize it at the time, but you supported me on the day Justin was diagnosed. Yes, you supported me before that day, but it wasn't until then I realized how much it was needed. I have often looked back, thankful for the time you spent making sure I was okay. I am grateful that you took the kids out of the room so that I could release the flood of emotion I was so desperately trying to shelter them from. I didn't want them to know right at that moment how devastating the news was. THANK YOU... for giving me the time I needed to breath.

Fast forward a little more than a year and a half later... I know how Justin's diagnosis that day affected me. The words are forever etched into my brain, the reality is before me everyday and the fear of what will be plays through my mind over and over like an old picture reel. What I didn't know was that a piece of that day was still clinging to your mind. I was taken back when you said "I remember that day... we were in room 11". I could tell by your tone that your heart broke just a little for us that day. I didn't know what to say at the time and I can't explain why that simple memory made my heart break and feel blessed at the same time. Thank you for letting me know we are not forgotten.

Skip ahead about a month... Today is the first time I have come to you about fevers and sickness in a long time. You always seem to be extra cautious with him, but not to the point that you are annoying(I say that lovingly). You casually ask questions about things that most Endocrinologists couldn't answer. Those things only a mom would relate to. Thank you for wanting to understand and learn.

Today's diagnosis was simple... Strep throat. You give me the run down on the usual course of action... adding in a few extra detail to help with D. Then you smirk and comment that I know way more than you. Thank you for the vote of confidence and the chuckle.

As we were leaving you thanked Justin for "making it something you could handle:.. I laughed and thanked you for making it something I could handle. Then... you did it again. What started out a simple joke turned into heartfelt words that will stay with me. Words that I will try to remember when I am feeling overloaded and weak. "You can handle more than most". That and a simple pat on the back left my heart so full of appreciation it hurts. My eyes are full of tears as I type, but they are not sad ones. Those simple words make me feel like I might be doing something right. That is a feeling I don't relate with to much these days. I know on the outside my weakness now shows. I don't feel as strong as I use to. Thank you for seeing who I am. Thank you for knowing I can do this and telling me so.

You are a GIFT.
Sincerely,
Me~

14 comments:

Pam said...

It sounds like you have a truly special pediatrician. My mother always told me, "You never know how good your pediatrician is until an emergency." How right she is. You're lucky to have found such a great one.

Hope Justin feels better soon.

Joanne said...

On the one year anniversary of Elise's dx, I gave her pedi a framed picture of Elise and a letter kind of like the one you wrote. I too am so grateful to have a doctor that is so invested in Elise's well being. We just had Elise's 3 year well-child visit today and I was once again blown away by her doc.

I'm glad you have a good one too!

Amy said...

Oh..you had me in tears...good Docs are hard to come by...as I am missing ours terribly right now and as I'm looking at starting the pump...there are parts of me that are scared...because our favorite Dr. W is no longer with us! Awesome letter!

phonelady said...

Lora you just got a puppy ? did you not ? have the puppy checked for it . My pediatrician told me to have my dog check when my son kept coming down with it . Just something ppl dont know or so I was told by my sons ped. good luck and hope this is over soon .

Penny said...

Great letter. I hope you sent it in a frame to him. He sounds like a gem. Glad you have him on your team.

Tracy1918 said...

Oh what a great letter! I hope you sent it to him.

Good luck with the strep throat. I hope for a quick recovery! : )

Jessica said...

I'm so happy that you have such an awesome doctor. It makes such a difference to hear that you are doing well from someone you trust. :) Send it!

Amanda said...

Your pediatrician sounds like a dream. What a blessing! I hope Justin is feeling better soon and the strep doesn't make D too crazy...

Hallie said...

I'm so glad you have an amazing doctor! I'm totally in tears!

And I want to add this: You CAN handle more than most. You DO handle more than most. And you do it with grace, and style and flair. You ARE doing something right. Not just one thing - lots of things. I am so glad that I have had the opportunity to meet you - because I KNOW. Justin is a complete doll and so is Leighanna. You have darling children. And that does not happen by accident, dear friend! I wish I was there to give you a big hug! But I'm looking forward to being able to do that soon!

alix said...

Beautiful Lora.
What a sweet, loving letter.
You have been blessed with a wonderful Dr.

Meri said...

An open comment to Justins doctor:
Thank you for taking care of Justin. But just as equally, thank you for taking care of my friends heart. It isn't easy. Every bit of support and confindence you give her is truly appreciated! Thank you!

htimm=) said...

I am in tears as I read your letter. Great docs are so hard to come by. So glad you got a great one that takes care of Justin and you so well. Great letter Lora! I do hope you sent it to him.

Reyna said...

I am with Meri...

It fills my heart with happiness knowing that this capable, caring, compassionate physician is taking phenomenal care of Justin and your heart and sense of wellbeing. You CAN handle more than most dear lady!

Heather said...

I am so happy for you that you have such a wonderful doctor for your kids. They are few and far between!

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