Dear Dr. D,
You are truly an amazing person, an amazing doctor, an amazing soul. I doubt words could ever express how much your support and encouragement mean to those you care for.
I know I didn't realize it at the time, but you supported me on the day Justin was diagnosed. Yes, you supported me before that day, but it wasn't until then I realized how much it was needed. I have often looked back, thankful for the time you spent making sure I was okay. I am grateful that you took the kids out of the room so that I could release the flood of emotion I was so desperately trying to shelter them from. I didn't want them to know right at that moment how devastating the news was. THANK YOU... for giving me the time I needed to breath.
Fast forward a little more than a year and a half later... I know how Justin's diagnosis that day affected me. The words are forever etched into my brain, the reality is before me everyday and the fear of what will be plays through my mind over and over like an old picture reel. What I didn't know was that a piece of that day was still clinging to your mind. I was taken back when you said "I remember that day... we were in room 11". I could tell by your tone that your heart broke just a little for us that day. I didn't know what to say at the time and I can't explain why that simple memory made my heart break and feel blessed at the same time. Thank you for letting me know we are not forgotten.
Skip ahead about a month... Today is the first time I have come to you about fevers and sickness in a long time. You always seem to be extra cautious with him, but not to the point that you are annoying(I say that lovingly). You casually ask questions about things that most Endocrinologists couldn't answer. Those things only a mom would relate to. Thank you for wanting to understand and learn.
Today's diagnosis was simple... Strep throat. You give me the run down on the usual course of action... adding in a few extra detail to help with D. Then you smirk and comment that I know way more than you. Thank you for the vote of confidence and the chuckle.
As we were leaving you thanked Justin for "making it something you could handle:.. I laughed and thanked you for making it something I could handle. Then... you did it again. What started out a simple joke turned into heartfelt words that will stay with me. Words that I will try to remember when I am feeling overloaded and weak. "You can handle more than most". That and a simple pat on the back left my heart so full of appreciation it hurts. My eyes are full of tears as I type, but they are not sad ones. Those simple words make me feel like I might be doing something right. That is a feeling I don't relate with to much these days. I know on the outside my weakness now shows. I don't feel as strong as I use to. Thank you for seeing who I am. Thank you for knowing I can do this and telling me so.
You are a GIFT.