Friday, August 20, 2010

The "Heart"breaking truth...

We know the complications. They swirl through our minds everyday. Every time a number pops up on the meter. Every mountain like trend on the CGM. Every A1C that creeps up just a little. But seriously, I never imagined that I would be sitting through an EKG, an Echo and scheduling an exercise stress test when Justin was only 9 years old. To read how we ended up here... click HERE.

The EKG was quick... didn't even think to take a picture to be honest. But the Echo. Well, that took a while. I found myself sitting back and tearing up. I let myself go to that worry place. I had a bit to much time to sit and think in the silence of a dark room.

My thoughts...
Why does he keep going back to the same area... does he see a problem?

How did we get here again? OH! Chest pain... that's right.

Isn't this suppose to happen when he's like.... 50 or something?

I wonder how many of these he will have to take in his life.

Man... I should sneak in a nap!

I hope this is the last new doctor we have to see for a while because I am tired and broke.

SHIT!! I still need to make an appointment for the eye doctor. For BOTH of us... double shit!

I wonder why he didn't tell me about these chest pains.

If this is starting already, how will it be when he's my age? I can't even think about it.

Gosh... we've been here over 2 hours. If this doesn't end soon he's going to go low.

Hmm~ 12:10... let's move it along Mr.Echo dude.

What happens if they find a problem? Then what?

Dear Lord, when does it all end?

Please make it end!

Luckily, we are good for now. The doctor said Justin has a "good heart". Let's hope he also has a strong one. We have one more test scheduled (exercise stress test). I will keep you all posted.
Love my handsome boy!




12 comments:

Nicole said...

So sorry you had to worry so much...we as mom's don't like to think of the complications and the what if's and the problems they have to face in the future. Justin is strong and brave :)and so are you!!

Wendy said...

EEK! I'm so happy to hear things are in the clear for now....PLEASE keep us updated.

He's quite a handsome boy :)

Reyna said...

Oh LORA...I did the same thing about a month ago when Joe saw his cardiologist. AND I had the same "thought feed" that you were experiencing through Justin's ECHO. I got a little tearful and was ready for some "bad" news. I never let myself think things will be "fine" anymore. I haven't allowed myself that "freedom" since Joe's diagnosis in Sept of 2006. On that day I thought things would be fine and they weren't...our lives were dramatically changed forever. ((HUGS))...please keep us up-to-date on the stress test.

P.S. I LOVE, LOVE, LOVE the humor in your thoughts!

Pam said...

Deep breath... breath... good. You're doing great. Don't let those thoughts win. In with the good thoughts, out with the bad thoughts. I can't imagine how scary things must be for you, but keep on keepin on. You're doing great! HUGS!

htimm=) said...

Wow what a ride you have been through. Please keep us posted. A very handsome guy you have there.

Misty said...

Love the pictures of your handsome boy!! Glad things have turned out ok so far. I was holding my breath for you, I totally understand that feeling.

Heidi / D Tales said...

OMG, reading this post, I felt as though I were right there with you during the echo. I was so relieved to read that he has a good heart. Let us know how the stress test goes. I'll be thinking of you!

Penny said...

Thinking of you and of Justin too. You are a great mom!

Laura said...

Lora in the seriousness of this post I still see your amazing sense of humor and like mine a very wondering mind!! I'm so glad everything is ok - Love you girl and the super handsome boy of yours!!

Meri said...

You had me on pins and needles friend. You were killing me with your thoughts...I guess I got a small taste of your waiting in the office. I AM SO GLAD that his heart is strong! Thank the good lord above! Love you!

PS fixing my urls soon and posting buttons, and changing my blog...if only I had more than 5 minutes at a time!

Amanda said...

Lora I'm so glad that everything is looking good with his heart. Let us know how the exercise stress test goes!

Alexis-Nicole said...

SO happy to hear everything is ok!! I wish I could give you both a big hug. I cant imagine how scary that mustve been with all we already deal with.

Does he have any history of asthma? Just a thought?

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