"Don't wish that things were easier... wish that you were better".
This is a quote that was sent out in a work email. It was in my inbox right after my post about being defeated. I know this quote was meant to be motivational to the sales team, but I viewed it differently.
I viewed it as a mom who is doing her best and feeling as if her best will never be enough.
I viewed it as a wife who never has time for her husband.
I viewed it as a person who has lost herself and can not seem to get it together.
I viewed it as an inadequate friend.
Normally, I delete these emails because they really have nothing to do with me... I always read the quotes before I do(I heart good quotes). This email, however, I didn't delete. I kept going back to it and staring at that quote. Just pondering... unsure how I felt about it.
Eventually, I realized that I didn't have to take it like it sounds. I can view it differently. Two years ago I WOULD have viewed it differently. I would have taken it for what it is and made myself better. I use to be good at that... finding a way to overcome anything. I never failed and I was proud of that.
I think that I need to go back to the old Lora. I know I will never totally be the same person that I use to be, but I know I can find a happier place than this. Even half way to my old self will be better than where I am today.
I have decided that I need to reorganize me. Get the things I can control back in order so that I can be better at handling the things I can't control.
I NEED to get a handle on the craziness that surrounds me before I go crazy.
Thinking back to the quote... I still wish it was easier, gosh who doesn't? But since it can't be... I am going to work on making myself better... like I would have before D came along.