Tuesday, December 15, 2009

Speachless and heartbroken...

I think I can speak for most of us when I say that this last week of school before holiday break is surely a dreaded one for us D moms. The parties, the treats, bla bla bla... And as a parent, all I want is for my kids to feel equal... like they are not "different" even though when it comes to the D Justin is.
Today at school; Justin's class was having a Polar Express day. Jammie's, hot chocolate.. the whole 9 yards. Justin was SO excited. He wore a new set of pj's, his gator slippers and even his Santa hat. I was excited for him too. You see Justin is still at the point that the hot chocolate won't make his numbers crazy... will they go up? Yes. But he is usually low at school, so if they hit more than 200... I would be surprised.

So when he came home today... he didn't say much(?).
So I asked him... "hey, how was Polar Express day" ...
(J) "Okay"...
(M) "Okay? Did you have fun?"
(J) "Well, Mrs. wouldn't give me any hot chocolate..."
(M) ???"wwwhhhyyy???" (long and drawn out just like that too)
(J)She said it had to much sugar and said I could have some hot water.
(M) HOT WATER? WTF? (I didn't say that out loud, but I sure thought it!!)
(M) "Did she talk to Mrs. (Nurse)? Were you high?"
(J) no

Justin and I continued to talk for a few minutes. He was sad... truly sad. Like diabetes just ripped his heart out again. He told me that he told Mrs. _ that he "really wanted some hot chocolate". I literally teared up and my heart ached for him. My heart ached for an 8 year old boy who had to sit there and watch 17 other kids drink hot chocolate. A little boy who already has a low self esteem because of everything that he's gone through in his short life. Things that an 8 year old shouldn't have to think about.

I had no idea that she would do this... I would have never imagined... I knew they were having hot chocolate... I worked yesterday and all last week... I was in the break room with her every one of those days. I have told her that as long as I know whats going on I will adjust. I have said the Dr does not want him excluded. I have said... if there are ever any questions... call the nurse or call me.

I did end up calling the nurse to see if maybe there was a reason for the way it was handled. She had heard nothing... and it turns out his bg was 52 in the afternoon. I guess the hot chocolate would have helped after all.

I don't even know what I am going to say to her tomorrow. There's so many things running through my head... mostly I think I would like to tell her that this disease is hard enough on him... it has changed his life(and not for the good)... this disease is hard enough on it's own without being left out... singled out... and saddened because of it.
Damn Polar Express Day...
Damn Celebrations...
Damn people that make them sad...


Hallie Addington said...

Oh Lora. I have tears, too. That is terrible. What the heck was she thinking? People just don't get it. Even when they try. I don't see Anything wrong with saying just what you wrote- "D is hard enough and has made him self conscious enough without having to sit and watch others participate in something special. I'm sure you were just trying to help or look out for him, but PLEASE understand how terrible it makes him feel to be left out- especially when there is no reason for it because I'm willing to do whatever it takes to make sure he is not excluded.". And if that doesn't work, I'll come kick her butt with you when we visit in the Spring! Of course, if you need me sooner than that, I can try to work something out! Hugs to you - and Justin! We'll send you some hot chocolate!

Tracy said...

Wow. Does she not understand he is not Diabetes, he is a little boy just like the rest of the kids in the class. As a teacher, I cannot imagine treating any of my students that way!

I really hope you are able to get through to this teacher that his feelings were very hurt. :(

Let us know it it goes!

phonelady said...

wow is all I can say and yeah my son has had teachers like that too . One of his teachers told my son he could not have popcorn with the rest of the class . My son told me that she grited her teeth and told him cause "your diet wont allow it " and you know it . OMG I so wanted to scream at that woman . And NO they dont get it . I hope you find an answer for this Lora let us know .

Wendy said...

I'm speechless.

I can't even imagine the heartache that I would have if Addy came home from her party and told me that.

Oh, sweet, Justin...I'm so sorry that happened.

I want to scream.

Dang I'm emotional this morning.

Meri said...

I am so upset right now...I don't know what to say. Have we had this issue before? Yes. Did I handle it with grace and dignity...probably not. Whenever something like this happens, and I want to calmly talk to the teacher about it...I cry. Not big blubbery crying, but a tear or two is shed none the less. I'm such a baby. So I email now. Long emails, pouring my heart out.

Good luck friend. Give her a piece of your mind. I don't know where she got the gall to make decisions like that...she HAD to know she was breaking his heart when she did it...knowing that makes me madder. What kind of teacher breaks a little boys heart!

And then offers him HOT WATER?????????????
I'm sorry, I'm not helping you....I'm just mad right along with you, and heartbroken. It's just not right.

Shannon said...

Good crap! I would be so upset too!! Poor kid! I am so sorry that these kids have to go through that. Us D-mom's try our darndest to train the people that are part of our kids lives to not treat them any different and that if there is ever a question to just ask. Why would she take controll on her own like that?

HOT WATER??? I am SO SO SO sorry for him!


:) Tracie said...


Maybe for Christmas you can give her a hot water bottle and see how she likes it!

I don't know how I would handle that if it happened to Jes. So far her teachers have come up to me when they know something is going on in class and have asked about what she can have or not. I always tell anyone she can have whatever everyone else is having and I will make sure to take care of it, but thanks for being concerned.

I hope things go well with the confrontation about it. Honesty and sincerity is the best you can do with her, if it happens again then kick her butt!

Joanne said...

I am so sad for Justin. That is terrible he had to go through that due to the ignorance of a teacher. I'm so sorry... I hate hearing stories like this.

LaLa said...

Oh Lora - Good luck tomorrow. I will pray for the strength you need to handle this situation. Because right now I am fuming mad! I would need all the help I could get handling this with dignity and grace. Grrrrr!!

I'm SO SO SO sorry that he had to go through this! Damn Diabetes!!!!

Sweet Justin! I want to send him some hot chocolate with little marshmallows! :-)

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