There are many things that suck about diabetes. I apologise for the following gloomy rant, but I need to get a few of these out so that I can exhale and keep on truckin along.
*I hate that the first thing Justin has to do when he wakes up in the morning is make himself bleed so that he can check his bg and I can figure out how much insulin he needs.
*I hate that I can't sleep, but I hate even more that Justin rarely gets a night of sleep where I am not poking his finger or waking him up to drink some juice.
*I hate it when I am "talking" to my husband about the load of medical/pharmacy bills and I don't realize Justin has come close enough to hear.
*I hate his fear of his future. Though he is young... he still listened and understands the consequences for not taking care of his diabetes. I hate that he doesn't want to "loose his legs".
*I hate that he can't come home and have an after school snack(a treat type snack). I hate that he still comes home and asks for one EVERYDAY because that is what we did EVERYDAY before the D came along. I hate being forced to tell him no and offer him cheese or pepperoni. I hate that he continues to check his bg everyday in hopes that he will get lucky just once.
*I hate that he now hates cheese and pepperoni because he is sick of eating it!!!!
*I hate explaining to another child his age why he can't have a 24 carb juice box.
*I hate hearing the question "well he can just control that with some exercise right? UMM NO!
*I hate telling people(when asked) that I found out Justin was diabetic when I took him to the doctor for wetting the bed. I really need to make up another story or something. I don't want some kid (because they CAN be cruel) to call him some made up "pee pee pants" nick name.
*I hate getting the "your an unfit parent look" when I give Justin cookies or cake at a party.
*I hate that 2 of his 3 most favorite foods KILL his bg numbers. (pizza and pasta)
*I hate counting everything he eats. (Cheetos, French fries, etc...)
*I hate Justin coming home and telling that someone wouldn't give him the treat that the rest of the class got.
*I hate that I am to scared to let him stay the night with a friend. And I hate that he cries about it. I hate that I have been telling him for a while that his sister was 9 before she was aloud to do that and now that he has just turned 9... I hate that I am going to have to figure something else out.
I hate all of these things. Some are silly things that most people never have to think about. Some are things that I also took for granted 14 months ago. But I have not been given an "opt out" button so I will continue on. I am just thankful that I have a place to vent where Justin can't hear me.