Thursday, January 14, 2010

Ramblings of a worn out mom...

There are many things that suck about diabetes. I apologise for the following gloomy rant, but I need to get a few of these out so that I can exhale and keep on truckin along.

*I hate that the first thing Justin has to do when he wakes up in the morning is make himself bleed so that he can check his bg and I can figure out how much insulin he needs.

*I hate that I can't sleep, but I hate even more that Justin rarely gets a night of sleep where I am not poking his finger or waking him up to drink some juice.

*I hate it when I am "talking" to my husband about the load of medical/pharmacy bills and I don't realize Justin has come close enough to hear.

*I hate his fear of his future. Though he is young... he still listened and understands the consequences for not taking care of his diabetes. I hate that he doesn't want to "loose his legs".

*I hate that he can't come home and have an after school snack(a treat type snack). I hate that he still comes home and asks for one EVERYDAY because that is what we did EVERYDAY before the D came along. I hate being forced to tell him no and offer him cheese or pepperoni. I hate that he continues to check his bg everyday in hopes that he will get lucky just once.

*I hate that he now hates cheese and pepperoni because he is sick of eating it!!!!

*I hate explaining to another child his age why he can't have a 24 carb juice box.

*I hate hearing the question "well he can just control that with some exercise right? UMM NO!

*I hate telling people(when asked) that I found out Justin was diabetic when I took him to the doctor for wetting the bed. I really need to make up another story or something. I don't want some kid (because they CAN be cruel) to call him some made up "pee pee pants" nick name.

*I hate getting the "your an unfit parent look" when I give Justin cookies or cake at a party.

*I hate that 2 of his 3 most favorite foods KILL his bg numbers. (pizza and pasta)

*I hate counting everything he eats. (Cheetos, French fries, etc...)

*I hate Justin coming home and telling that someone wouldn't give him the treat that the rest of the class got.

*I hate that I am to scared to let him stay the night with a friend. And I hate that he cries about it. I hate that I have been telling him for a while that his sister was 9 before she was aloud to do that and now that he has just turned 9... I hate that I am going to have to figure something else out.

I hate all of these things. Some are silly things that most people never have to think about. Some are things that I also took for granted 14 months ago. But I have not been given an "opt out" button so I will continue on. I am just thankful that I have a place to vent where Justin can't hear me.



phonelady said...

You go ahead and vent we have all been there and I can totally understand . I have been there my son is 25 now and it dont get any easier . I know the feelings I have said them to myself a hundred times . We are here for you .

Meri said...

I hate all those things too Lora. Every one of them. There wasn't one that seemed even a little stupid to me.

The worst is when it affects the boys. Sure D, mess with my brain...but for cryin out loud, leave my boys alone!

Jennifer said...

I agree Lora. I hate all of these things too. I have that D exists. I hate that there is no cure.

I agree with Meri, none of them is stupid. We are all there with you.

Mike LeBlanc said...

I agree that all of those things really suck Lora and you need to vent and get them out.

We've been playing the D game for over 7 years now and it's not any easier, but it does get better. You guys just have 14 months in, so give yourself time.

I also hate having to explain to others who just don't get it. It frustrated me soo much for so long until I realized that it is an opportunity to educate. Awareness will help accelerate a cure.

Are you guys pumping? A pump would likely enable Justin to have his snack after school.


LaLa said...

I hate everyone of those things too!
I hate that you post made me cry - DAMNITTTTTT!
I agree with Mike - I think the pump is going to be so great for Justin. No more cheese and pepperoni unless it's on a pizza. :-)

Shamae (Ghost written by Loren her hubby) said...

I could write that list too! It is difficult! It sux! But we will get through. :D The pump is great...allows for more flexibility. I never understood that until Syd got her pump. It's been great!

Anonymous said...

I hate all of those things too, and I'm sure your son feels the same way too. It's good to vent.

Amy said...

The not getting a class treat one is a HUGE pet peeve of mine. I've told the school numerous times not to single my DD out, yet they still do it. Grrrrr.

Great list, glad you vented it-- I have many of the same frustrations!


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