A SWEET RESPONSE...

“Life's challenges are not supposed to paralyze you, they're supposed to help you discover who you are". ~Bernice Johnson Reagon

The loaded questions... You know... "How are you doing?" "How is Justin doing?". Those questions.

For the most part, I answer those questions with the automatic, "fine, thank you for asking", generic kind of response. Only certain people really know that it is quite the undertaking to keep it together sometimes.

This past week has kicked my a double s...

The seizures. The seizure medication and its side effects. The wondering how I missed another major medical issue. The highest A1C Justin's had since dx. All of it. Piling up.

Anyways...

At work today I was asked... "How are you? How is Justin".

Maybe I am tired of my generic answer. Maybe I just needed to vent. Maybe I had the urge to test the sincerity of the question. Maybe a higher power knew I needed to hear the heartfelt response that I received. I don't know... maybe it was all of the above.

So, in response to the question, I answered something like this...

"He's okay I guess... I think this medication has been hard on him. There have been some noticeable changes in his mood and he has not been sleeping well. Both are possible side effects of the seizure medication. I am supposed to wait 10 days before I get his blood drawn so that they can check his "chemical balance". It's a hard call.

How are you doing? Did you get your water heater fixed?"


I have to admit that I expected the usual "I am so sorry to hear that". Instead, I got this... (I removed the details about the water heater... she got a new one in case your wondering :)


"Justin- hate to hear!!! I know it's all hard on him and you. Medicine really is trial and error and until they have it all adjusted correctly I know it can be physically and emotionally draining.
 Look up!!


I pray it all comes together quickly. When the circumstances try to over take you stop take a deep breath and reassure your self there is a light. When the pressure and uncertainty seems more than you can bear within your heart cast it on a loving God. I know that may seem trivial and twilight zone-ish do do do do...but there is a God whose ways are greater than ours. He works out every detail of our life according to his plan though through it all we don't always understand and it doesn't come as quickly as we would like at times but he still knows, he still cares, and he still has it under his control if we give it to him. Better to know than not to know. Better to be working on resolve then not.


I know you are troubled as a mother...I can't imagine! But his word says he gives peace that passes all understanding in spite of our circumstances. He is able to put a settling in our heart and a reassurance of him beyond what we can understand in logic. We all have moments of despair but when we recognize we are there he just asks us to cast it on him.


Any thing I can do...let me know!! Just need to vent...call me. May not have an answer but i can be a download for you:)"


Of course I cried. I can hold it together much better if I don't think about it - AT ALL!!


Life's challenges sure have a way of knocking you on your ass, that's for sure.


One day at a time ~ right?

Thank you to everyone who commented on my last post. Your words lifted my spirits more than you can imagine.

NOT JUST A FAST DROP...

“Anyone can give up, it's the easiest thing in the world to do. But to hold it together when everyone else would understand if you fell apart, that's true strength.” ~Author unknown

You may remember a post I wrote last week about finding Justin alone at school, in a daze, walking in circles. If you missed it, you can read it here.

I mentioned that I had seen him "zombie out" before. I had always chalked it up to a low or a fast drop in blood sugar. That explanation made perfect sense to me.

Out of coincidence... Justin had a neurologist appointment two days after that "incident". It stuck with me because of the fact that I found him wondering by himself. Just in conversation... I mentioned it to Dr. G and of course, he had questions.

He decided that from a neurological standpoint that an EEG would be beneficial, but told me not to worry.

Yesterday, was the day we scheduled the EEG. Justin was a champ and did everything he was told. I was a proud mama.

During the test... the tech asked Justin to breath heavily, in and out, continuously until she told him to stop. During this time she said she would talk to him about elephants and he needed to remember the color of the elephant she was telling him about.

I sat there and watched.

A few seconds after the heavy breathing began, the tech started talking about purple elephants. Then, abruptly, about 15 seconds later the heavy breathing stopped and the lost zombie returned.

Silence filled the room for what seemed like forever. I found out it was actually ten seconds.

All of the sudden Justin Asks "how much longer".
But when she asked him "what color was the elephant"... he just said "what elephant".

As soon as the tech stood up and left the room for a minute... I just pleaded to myself. "Please... Please don't".

When we were checking out I asked how long it would be before we heard anything. I was told a couple of days. Justin and I went about the day and, by some miracle, I didn't think about it again.

Until that afternoon when Dr. G's name flashed up on the caller ID. NOT the usual office name... HIS name.

(Insert Reyna's F.F.S)

Turns out... Justin has what they call Absent Seizures.

Here's a typical scenario for a child with Absent Seizures: Frank, a 7-year-old boy, often "blanks out" anywhere from a few seconds to 20 seconds at a time. During a seizure, Frank doesn't seem to hear his teacher call his name, he usually blinks repetitively, and his eyes may roll up a bit. During shorter seizures, he just stares. Then he continues on as if nothing happened. Some days Frank has more than 50 of these spells.

I copied the above scenario from Epilepsy.com. You can click on the link to read more about Absent Seizures.


According to Dr. G... during that twenty minute test Justin had "several" of them. They (his at least) lasted about 10 seconds each.

They require medication- which we will start tomorrow.

I just cried. (I also drank a bottle of wine, but we wont discuss that).



I know that there are worse thing in the world. You don't have to tell me it could be worse. But as a mom... anything your child goes through seems like the end of the world.

I don't understand why he has to deal with any more. He has dealt with ENOUGH!

With any luck... Justin will be lucky enough to grow out of these seizures. Unlike D... we can have hope that he will.

HANGING WITH D-MAMA'S...

I had a great weekend! Wanna hear about it?

Well... Friday we dropped Leighanna off at Girl Scout encampment for the weekend. We didn't have to pick her up until Sunday.

Anthony went to Festival of Speed, leaving Jusin and I to hang out. It was quiet, it was just me and my favorite guy, and that was just fine with me.

On Saturday... we got up and daddy went and bought doughnuts. Justin was thrilled of course and I sure ate my share ;)

Then, Justin and Anthony took off to the Air Show. Justin was in hog heaven!!
Mama on the other hand... was left all to herself at home in a quiet house. I will not complain


Here is where it gets better.

Saturday night... I strapped on my pink shoes, a good pair of jeans, some make up and headed out to meet Misty. This is not the first time Misty and I have wreaked havoc on the town... remember we went to Chicago.

Don't we look like a couple of trouble makers??

I know... the eyes gives our evilness away!!

Nooo- Misty is super sweet. Her family was hanging out at Disney and I was lucky enough for her to sneak away for a few hours to have dinner with me. 

Then... Sunday prooved be be just as good. Justin and I had the chance to meet up with Andrea, Cale and their family. Justin was SO excited to meet a D-friend... "who is actually a boy". And Andrea is just more proof that D Mama's are the best!!!

Look! My eveil eyes are gone... that must mean that Misty is the bad influence ... lol! I'm kidding!!!


Writing this post also reminded me that I never posted about my meet up with Nicole not to long ago. How could I do that... cause Nic RoCkS!!!!! Seriously!!!

Nicole's family was here to visit Disney too. The mouse and I have a deal... he gets them here and I beg them to meet up with me :)

Having your child diagnosed with Type one can be heartbreaking, challenging and down right exhausting. However, through all the crap we deal with because of D, one thing is for sure... I have met some wonderful friends. I consider them family. I only hope that I give them at least half of the love and support that they give me.

Because without them... I would be insaine.

I will leave you with this quote...


"Even though we've changed and we're all finding our own place in the world, we all know that when the tears fall or the smile spreads across our face, we'll come to each other because no matter where this crazy world takes us, nothing will ever change so much to the point where we're not all still friends."