As moms we all have things that we are thankful for and things that scare the shiz-nit out of us. As D-Mamas... we have extra things. Things that the typical mama does not have to deal with. Such as stereotypes, advocating, educating, lack of sleep etc...
Here are some of my quiet fears and also some stuff I am secretly thankful for...
- Justin has always been "well built". I'm talking rock hard stomach surfer body type of built. Deep down I am thankful for this. I know that sounds kind of bad, but I honestly find it a bit easier to explain type one not being a metabolism problem.
- I am thankful that Justin only eats a handful of things. It makes it easier to bolus him when we are out. I can "swag" a cheeseburger and fries like nobodies business.
- I don't always educate when I have the opportunity. I admit it... sometimes I just don't have the darn energy. Then sometimes the comment made is so stupid... I am more in rage mode and one more stupid comment would case me to go all Bruce Lee on someone. Better to clinch teeth and avoid further contact at that point ;)
- I want help. I want my husband to learn how to help more, but I find it easier to just do it than to try and explain or teach. I am all about what is easier these days... even if the easier is just for the moment.
- It kills me to just let him sleep in. I check on him constant even though I know he is just getting caught up on some much needed rest.
- I hate telling new D Mamas that it will get better in time. I know it WILL get better for them, but I also remember thinking "WHEN will it get better" every time I was told to give it time. I do still try to share the wise words... just cringe doing so :)
- I am not sure how I am going to get Justin to do site changes without the Emla. Our script is almost out and I am worried that the Endo will not be willing to give me another one. I had to ague for that one! At what age should I make him suck it up when I KNOW that junk hurts?
- I am scared of the change in the air. Carbs have started to have a greater effect on him recently. I could give him two cookies to "bump him up" enough to go out and play. Now, tow cookies throws him into the 300's. That's just an example... I have a lot of changes to wrap my bulging brain around.
- I am scared there will be a day that I can't afford his prescriptions. I don't talk much about the financial strain D has caused us personally, but it has in a big way. I am thankful for my insurance and I trust that we will be okay. I just worry that there will be that day when all this will finish us off. If that makes sense.
I could keep going, but I have to get ready for dinner. What are your fears? What are you thankful for? I need to know. Today is just one of those days.